"Am I the only one I know,
Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?
Shadows will scream that I'm alone." - Migrane
There is a side of me that has taken to these words. That question pierces hard, because all of us are fighting something within or dealing with issues that you may or may not want(or know how) to tell the people around you. This leaves me feeling like I am the only one who is experiencing these feelings. But in actual fact, that is not true. Everyone around the world feels the same things that I feel. I need to remind myself, continuously.
I guess in many ways I am blessed that I seem to be able to put my sense before my emotions. Though sometimes the brain gets sick of all the control. The shadows. The shadows are dangerous. They're all my insecurities which stem from other people. A small comment on something might have a ripple effect on things within. This is also why I've been trying really hard to watch what I say, of late. That said, I'm pretty much a tough pill to swallow at times because I tend to be very direct. I'm not balls-y or anything, but I just don't like to sugar-coat things. It's either I'll say it as it is or just shut up about it. I can't stand beating around the bush. Which leads me to the original reason I wanted to even write a post. BOUNDARIES.
This is really just my
So, boundaries. I feel like these days there's no clear-cut way of dealing with this issue because everyone has different understandings of what boundaries encompass. I'm speaking from the perspective of boundaries within friendships, because I always seem to see this problem within friendships. Like what is private, should remain private right? Friends involving themselves in other peoples issues, to what extent? How far does the friendship autonomy go?
At this time and age, it all boils down to your own powers of analysing. How would the other person feel if you did something? How would the other person deal with this if the tables were turned? Always remember, you're doing something to(for) the other person. If it's not to benefit the other person, don't do it. If it's not done in a tactful fashion that shows you respect the other person, also don't do it. I'm sure you're trying to help out your friend, but really analyse what you're doing. Sometimes we fail to see that we are not parents to our friends. We need to allow them to correct their paths. Our jobs are to maintain a hand outstretched for them to walk with us, with no judgments and no lectures. Not to tell them to sit in a corner while we settle their mess out. How is that even healthy? Friends help friends grow.
Salut,
-clare
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