Narrator: This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story.
~~~~~
Rachel Hansen: You know, all my friends love you and think you're great. It's like they say, there's plenty of fish in the sea.
Tom: [Looks at a group of twelve year old girls who wave at him and giggle] Those aren't fish. They're guppies.
~~~~~
Tom: You don't want to be named as someone's boyfriend, and now your someone's wife?
~~~~~
Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.
~~~~~
Rachel Hansen: Just because she's likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate.
~~~~~
"so what happened?"
"you ready? so there were were, 9 more floors to ride, just me and her, 'hey summer.' 'hi.' 'how was your weekend?' 'it was gooooooooooood.' can you believe that ****?"
"i'm sorry, what ****?"
"yeah i think i missed something."
"she said it was good, emphasis on the good. she basically said she spent the weekend having sex with some guy she met at the gym." "skank."
~~~~~
McKenzie: [drunk] So do you have a boyfriend?
Summer: No.
McKenzie: Why not?
Summer: Because I don’t want one.
McKenzie: Come on; I don’t believe that.
Summer: You don’t believe that a woman could enjoy being free and independent?
McKenzie: Are you a lesbian?
Summer: [laughing] No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.
McKenzie: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Summer: Really?
McKenzie: Nope.
Summer: Ok, let me break it down for you–
McKenzie: Break it down!
Summer: Ok. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later.
McKenzie: You’re a dude. [to Tom] She’s a dude!
Tom: Ok but wait–wait. What happens, if you fall in love?
[she scoffs]
Tom: What?
Summer: You don’t believe that, do you?
Tom: It’s love, it’s not Santa Claus.
~~~~~
Tom’s Boss: [reading one of Tom's cards] Roses are red, violets are blue… fuck you whore.
~~~~~
Paul: Did she say hey instead of hi? cause you know if she did.. she's a lesbian.
~~~~~
Summer: You always wanted to write greeting cards?
Tom: No, I don’t even want to do it now.
Summer: Well you should do something else then.
Tom: Yeah. I studied to be an architect, actually.
Summer: You did that’s cool. What happened there?
Tom: Didn’t work out. I needed a job and here we are.
Summer: You any good?
Tom: Well, um, I wrote this one. [hands Summer a card]
Summer: “Today, you’re a man. Mozeltoff on your bar mitzvah.”
Tom: It’s a big seller.
Summer: I meant as an architect.
Tom: Yeah… I doubt it.
Summer: Well, you’re a, perfect adequate greeting card writer.
Tom: Thank you. That was actually my nickname in college. They called me perfectly adequate Hansen.[taking a sip of champagne]
Summer: They used to call me anal girl.
[Tom spits out the champagne]
Summer: I was very neat and organized.
~~~~~
Salut,
-clare
